One thing I’ve realized in my years as a enterprise proprietor—and as an individual—is that the widespread denominator of lots of people’s issues isn’t having the ability to say “no.” After we be taught to say no, we are able to give attention to shifting ahead, nourish our passions and, most significantly, shield our psychological well being. No good can come from people-pleasing behaviors and consistently denying our personal wants.
So, why is saying no so laborious?
Though a very good query, it’s a loaded one. Many components play into the reply, together with the easy undeniable fact that when folks ask for a favor or so that you can take one thing on, numerous feelings come up. Saying no to those requests will be perceived as egocentric—whether or not it’s an inside wrestle or a wrestle with saying no to a consumer, coworker, worker or employer. Some folks could take your “no” as not caring about them, or others may even see it as an indication of weak point.
Take into consideration when you must inform a consumer that you’re unable to groom their canine for one cause or one other and the way upsetting it usually is for each of you. Or possibly it’s time to inform an worker that their targets for their very own profession don’t align with what you are promoting mannequin. It’s a troublesome dialog to have, and it’s one which leaves each of you distressed. Human brains need good, optimistic experiences. We crave the “really feel good” impact that comes from endorphins, and we don’t need to be seen as troublesome.
That is even more true for people who find themselves part of the service business. We have now a picture (a model) to uphold. Society is fast to show a “no” into a nasty overview or adverse gossip a couple of enterprise. The concern of the negativity that may fall upon a enterprise performs an enormous position within the problem many enterprise homeowners and staff have saying no. This concern causes a downward spiral as a result of we’re not being true to ourselves, and this fixed preventing with ourselves results in burnout.
Did any of this resonate with you?
The percentages are stacked towards us on the subject of people-pleasing, so it’s no marvel we’ve such a tough time. Saying sure when folks ask us for one thing is extra pure, optimistic and what we’re skilled to do when offering a service in right this moment’s society.
Finally, I received sick of being burnt out, attempting to reside as much as society’s unrealistic expectations of grooming, and maintaining with the calls for of potential and present staff, so I knew I needed to discover a method to change it. An lively change needed to be made to guard my psychological well being. However it doesn’t matter what I learn or did, it by no means appeared to stay, and I all the time discovered myself saying sure after I needed to say no. I adopted ideas and tips precisely as they had been laid out and nonetheless wasn’t seeing outcomes.
The issue was that I wasn’t using what works for me and my thought processes. I wanted one thing greater than, “Do that repetitively, and alter will come simpler.” It doesn’t matter what I attempted, I saved falling again into previous habits.
So, I attempted one thing new. I began to interrupt every “no” down. As soon as I outlined the no and the rationale I needed to say it, I might provide you with methods to face behind it. Subsequent, I requested myself: How can I say no however sure on the identical time? Following these steps, I discovered my very own system that works for me. I’m now in a position to say no with out feeling responsible.
So, simply how can we are saying no with out feeling responsible or giving in?
Right here just a few ideas which have labored for me:
1. Checklist it out. All of us have an inventory of issues we need to say no to for one cause or one other. Checklist them out so they don’t seem to be taking on area in your head. Don’t overthink it; simply begin writing. In case you are an individual who has a tough time concentrating in a single sitting, attempt retaining a pocket book with you or coming into them in your telephone. As you go about your day, jot issues down after they pop up. Take your large listing and slim it down by putting every merchandise in a class. I often have two classes: private {and professional}.
2. Focus. Decide one listed merchandise to provide you with a gameplan for. This doesn’t must be the merchandise that’s most essential to you. You’ll be able to decide one thing which may be best to work with for the time being. Typically the simpler ones will provide you with momentum as you’re employed on them so you may construct as much as the tougher ones.
3. Outline your “why.” It is very important perceive why it’s essential to say no to this merchandise. Your why will assist you to keep on observe when following by means of together with your no.
4. Plan for adversities. What might pop up that might cease you from following by means of together with your no? Right here’s a useful trace when itemizing this stuff: It’s often the justifications that you simply inform your self, so dig by means of these first.
5. Discover the “sure.” We’re wired to say sure, so why can we really feel that we’ve to work towards that? Give you some alternate options to your no which you could say sure to. These choices must align with you and your values or else you’ll not follow saying no.
6. Apply. Begin these practices instantly. The longer you dwell on them, the tougher they are going to be to implement.
Pricing is a good instance of one thing many enterprise homeowners and groomers wrestle to vary. Elevating costs will be scary as a result of you recognize the consumer most likely received’t be pleased with having to pay extra money. Regardless, we have to elevate costs for a large number of causes; having the ability to pay aggressive wages, pay for elevated prices, handle inflation, account for advancing ability ranges, and so on. After we elevate costs, we concern battle, getting our emotions damage or dropping purchasers. However these fears are a few of the adversities we should always plan for that would get in the way in which of claiming no.
Now, what sort of sure’s can we give to our purchasers to face behind the value enhance? Can they arrive in additional typically to offset an even bigger enhance? Are you able to go shorter with the minimize to elongate the time in between grooms? Are you able to add in an additional service that doesn’t value a lot however provides worth for the consumer? No matter works finest for you and what you are promoting mannequin will be the reply to strolling that line between sure and no. When you’ve determined what your sure’s are, you can begin saying no with extra confidence and fewer battle.
This method has allowed my groomers to grow to be extra assured of their decisions and make saying no a lot simpler. It permits me to make sensible enterprise selections and stand behind them.
Individuals will all the time have one thing to say, and whereas we can not management different folks’s reactions, we are able to management the choices we make behind rising our companies. Make saying no simpler from the beginning so you should have extra time to give attention to the issues that matter to you and make sense for what you are promoting. ✂️
